Our no-nonsense guide to planning the perfect guest list for your wedding.
One of the first tasks you should take care of when beginning your wedding planning journey is putting together a wedding guest list. As it will affect every other decision and booking you make further down the line. From the wedding venue you choose, to the budget, to the type of catering you'd like to go for. They all depend on the number of guests you will invite.
Best Way to Plan Your Wedding Guest List
We’ve put together a guide to help planning your guest list a little easier.
Who Are Your VIPs?
It may seem cruel to split your friends and family into lists. But this is the most practical way to make a wedding guest list. Besides, we’ve all been a C-list wedding guest at some point in our lives, right?
Who you invite to your wedding is completely personal, and your A to D lists will likely vary slightly from ours. For instance, you may consider your cousins to be best friends, or maybe you don't feel comfortable having any family at your wedding. We are all different. The only rule is that the people who you want to be there are present, and that you don’t feel forced to invite anyone you’d rather not have there.
A-List: The guests you need to invite to your wedding
Consider the people you simply cannot imagine getting married without. The non-negotiable guests. For some couples, that might be 10 people, while for others, that might be more like 50.
Sit down with your partner and ask each other, 'If we had to get married in the morning, who would we want to have there?'
Below are the typical A list wedding guests.
- Parents
- Siblings
- The Closest friends
- Your children
- Grandparents
B-List: The guests you really want at your wedding
Couples typically consider this group as an extension of the A-List. But we’ve separated it to help you work out why you want to invite certain people, rather than randomly typing names into a spreadsheet.
The B list are the special people you’d love to spend your wedding day with. It's important to have them there, but it wouldn’t ruin your day if one or two couldn’t make it.
- Nieces and nephews
- The Closest aunties and uncles
- Your wider circle of friends
C-List: The guests you’ll invite to your wedding if your venue/budget allows
This is where it starts to get tricky. The C-list is made up of guests you’d really like to have at your wedding, or guests it would be difficult not to invite. For instance, some families have an all-or-nothing approach to aunties, uncles and cousins. But when it comes to your budget or venue size, you may have to draw a line somewhere.
- All your aunties and uncles
- All your cousins
- Plus ones of new relationships/plus ones you don’t know that well
- Travel friends
- Old friends you haven’t seen in ages
- Your closest work friends
D-List: The guests you might feel obliged to invite to your wedding
Depending on the kind of wedding you’re having (and who’s paying for it), the D-list is likely made up of guests who you would like to invite if you can, or feel obliged to.
If your parents are paying for your wedding, they’ll get to ask some guests. If you’re having a church ceremony, it’s polite to invite the priest to the wedding meal. But when it comes to feeling obliged to invite your boss, or friends of friends who invited you to their wedding, or the girls at your gym class – that’s probably when you need to draw the line.
You should never feel pressured or guilt-tripped into inviting someone to your wedding. If having a certain person present on the big day doesn't feel right, don't send them an invite.
- Priest
- Neighbours
- Friends of your parents
- Children of guests
- Everyone from your local club
- People who invited you to their wedding
- All your work colleagues (and boss)
Wedding Guest List Tips
Essential wedding guest list tips that'll streamline your planning process.
You have to draw a line
Whether your wedding guest list has 15 or 250 people on it, please remember that a line has to be drawn somewhere. Some people make the cut and some don’t – you can’t please everyone. And if you do decide to invite more than you planned, there will always be another person you feel, or they feel, should be there.
Come up with a figure relatively early on and stick to it.
People will be understanding
Have you not been invited to a wedding you thought you probably would have? Did you really mind? Most likely not, or at least not for long. People are obviously going to be excited about the prospect of sharing your day with you. But remember they might be more understanding than you think if they're not invited, and will understand the constraints of a modern guest list.
Don’t over-invite
Wedding planners often suggest over-inviting, as 10-20% of guests may not be able to make it. But this is a risky game to play unless your venue or budget is flexible. You never know, all those invited guests from New Zealand might use it as an excuse for a holiday, even though you thought they wouldn’t come!
Set a rule for plus-ones
Plus-one's are usually only granted to those who are married, engaged or in long-term relationships. If you'd rather your wedding was a partner free zone, consider inviting a group of your friends together, and not their other halves. You'll know whether they'll be up for that or not, and will welcome the break. But if you're not sure, don't risk it!
If your budget is tight, limit plus ones to the relationships we listed above, and treat the rest of your guests on a case by case basis. If your best mate is single right now, but will know everyone at the wedding, they don't need a plus one. But if your friend from work won't know a soul, maybe let them bring a date.
Make a policy on children early
Whether to invite children or not is tricky. Having countless children at a wedding can significantly alter the feel of a celebration. Turning what was planned to be an elegant soirée, into a bit of a free for all. But on the other hand, if you want your big day to be inclusive and full of life, by all means include kids on the invites.
Just be sure to think about it carefully and give lots of notice to parents if children aren’t invited.
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