Understand early what both of you expect, and you'll have a harmonious wedding planning experience.
When it comes to wedding planning, determining the roles of your loved ones early on makes the entire process run far more smoothly. As you'll know, who is responsible for what, when each person has the final say, and when you want (or don't want) someone's input. While you may know exactly what you want your future spouse to handle and where your mother's strengths lie, what role does the mother of the groom play in all of this?
Traditionally, the role of the groom's mother is more limited than that of the bride's mother. Involvement in wedding planning is typically at the discretion of the couple. There should be no expectation that the groom's mother will be more, or less involved, and they should not take on any additional responsibilities unless the couple requests it.
So, if you're wondering what classic mother of the groom etiquette is and how involved your future mum should be in your wedding, here are a few common ways they can help relieve stress.
Before the Wedding
Enlisting the mother of the groom can help you cross a few items off your long list. Look for their strengths and resist internal or external pressure to include them in anything you want to do yourself or with your own mother.
Wedding Organizing
Invite them to a meeting with your caterer or florist if you feel your tastes are aligned. While you may prefer to keep dress shopping a mother-daughter affair, inviting your future mother-in-law to your fitting is a fun moment to share too. Besides, it'll mean you'll have one more person who knows how to lace you up! You can even invite them over to assist you with the coordination and design of your centrepieces or table settings.
If your relationship with the mother of the groom is strained or you feel they're attempting to take over aspects of wedding planning, it is critical to establish boundaries early on.
Choose two to three items from your to-do list and let them know you'll be in touch if there are any other items you'd like them to help you plan. Put your foot down immediately if you notice them ordering invitations, booking the caterer, or looking for a DJ without first consulting you.
Guest list
There may be some back-and-forth with the mother of the groom about how many people from their family should be on your wedding guest list. After you've decided who will make the final cut and reduced your guest list to a manageable size, the mother of the groom can help you collect names and addresses for any invited family and friends. As the wedding date approaches, the bride's mother can assist with seating arrangements also.
Ceremony Prep
You might want to consult with the groom's mother to see if there are any special ceremony readings, rituals, or customs that they'd like considered for the ceremony. Taking the groom's religion or family traditions into account is always a nice thing to do, and it should help unify the two families.
If a poem or tradition has been passed down and used at weddings in their family for many years, the mother of the groom can provide insight into those practises.
During the Wedding
The mother of the groom can be invaluable on your wedding day, even if their main job is to enjoy the moment!
Gathering Up Guests
On your wedding day, one of the most important roles the mother of the groom can play is ensuring that the people they know (family and friends) arrive on time for the ceremony. While also ensuring guests have transportation to and from the venue, and don't get lost, especially if you're hosting events at multiple locations.
When it comes time for group photos after the ceremony, they can be a big help in confirming that the groom's side of the family is waiting nearby to pop in and out of family photos.
Reception
After they take over the dance floor during the mother-son dance, remind them that the most important thing they can do is enjoy the rest of the evening. Turn to your bridal party for last-minute assistance with tasks and unexpected problems. Allow your new mother-in-law to join in the festivities and revel in the joy of having you as a member of the family.