Identify as an introvert and as a result, feeling daunted by the prospect of planning your wedding? You're not alone.
“It’s a day where it’s all about you,” may sound like heaven to some people, but to some introverts, it’s a concept that is not too appealing. ..
As an introvert, you can accept a compliment, be outgoing, and love being the life of the party, but the thought of spending a whole day of socialising where you're the centre of attention makes your stomach feel like a washing machine. So how will you be able to survive your own wedding?
Be clear about what you want
Or more to the point, be clear about what you don’t want. If you would rather run over hot coals than do any public speaking, then don't feel pressured. Choose a small ceremony and then a larger reception. It is a special moment when you can tell your loved ones how much you care about them and give them thanks for helping you with your big day - so if you can just stand up and say it to only your nearest & dearest just do that. Everyone else can enjoy your big day afterwards without any speeches from you!
Spread the festivities out
The key diagnosis of an introvert is that they lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, whereas extroverts gain energy from other people. So as lovely as the idea of spending a whole day and night with friends and family sounds, it begs the question ‘will there be time to take a nap?’
The idea of a wedding nap doesn't seem so socially acceptable, so some brides choose to have a small ceremony on one day, and a reception two days later or whenever you choose. You should enjoy your wedding with everything it brings and if that means spreading it out over a week, then go for it.
Commit to managing your anxiety in the lead up to the big day
There are wedding day jitters and then there are wedding day oh-my-god-I-can’t-breathe panics! If you fall towards the latter of the spectrum, its best to be conscious of this as soon as possible and create a plan for dealing with it in your regular routine. Start by making a conscious effort to meditate (or just take time out), write down a vision for the wedding, exercise and eat well. All of these things will make a huge difference to how you feel before and on the big day.
Don’t feel pressured to have a huge hen do
If you’re not comfortable with the idea of a big production, it’s fine to have a small celebration or break it up into several ‘manageable’ do's. Maybe go for something low-key with your bridesmaids like a night in and then a separate occasion with people from work etc. Remember, this is your hen-do so don't feel like you have to do what will make the other hens happy.
Keep your bridal party small
You may struggle to shorten the list, but doing so will not only mean less drama in the wedding planning process and less voices to drain you when you’re getting ready on the big day. If you’re struggling to cull the list, pledge to at least get ready by yourself or just with your maid of honour before the wedding.
Rethink the top table setup
Many brides find that if public speaking is an unpleasant experience, then eating in front of people can be too. Instead of the traditional on display at the top table, opt to sit at a round table in the middle of our wedding breakfast. Guests can still see you, but having family and friends huddled around will make it feel more intimate - in a good way!
Ditch the solo first dance
As long as your guests are fed and have a drink in their hand, no one will really care if you ditch the first dance, or better yet, opt to dance to a pop song instead! Or even have your romantic first dance but have it with all of your guests, surround yourself with your loved ones and take the pressure off. Whichever you choose, make sure you let your wedding DJ know and they'll be able to set the mood and make sure you're not left performing for everyone.
Take solace in sharing the spotlight
While there might be times during your wedding where you want to hide, or take a nap, it’s important to embrace the day and accept you’re going to be the centre of attention on the big day. But, one of the best things about this is, you're not alone. Embrace sharing the spotlight with your partner and don't be afraid to take a moment away from the celebrations together to soak it all in, and enjoy each others company.
Every bride feels anxiety leading up to and on their wedding day, there are just different levels of fear. But by following some simple steps you can truly enjoy & cherish your special day.
If you fear the bridal shopping part of your wedding day too, let us guide you through your wedding dress journey.
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Claire & Christine xx