Best Man Speech: Tried-and-tested Best Man Jokes That Will Win Over Any Wedding Crowd



You're going to want to share this with all the groomsmen!


Best Man Speech Jokes


Taking on the role of best man is a great honour, but it comes with lots of responsibilities, too, from taking care of the rings, to getting the groom to the ceremony on time, to – of course – producing a winning speech!

Love them or loathe them, a few jokes sprinkled into your toast to the bride and groom is sure to keep your audience captivated throughout. So, if you’re in need of a little inspiration, these chucklesome tried-and-tested quips should get you started…


Best man jokes to add to your wedding speech...


“IF YOU CAN’T HEAR ME AT THE BACK, THE SILENCE AT THE FRONT SHOULD ASSURE YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING.”


“IF THERE’S ANYONE HERE THIS AFTERNOON WHO’S FEELING NERVOUS, APPREHENSIVE AND QUEASY AT THE THOUGHT OF WHAT LIES AHEAD, IT’S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU’VE JUST MARRIED [GROOM’S NAME].”


“ALL THOSE AMONG YOU WHO KNOW THE BRIDE WILL KNOW THAT SHE IS A WONDERFUL CARING PERSON. SHE DESERVES A GOOD HUSBAND. THANK GOD HE MARRIED HER BEFORE SHE FOUND ONE.”



“JUST SOME LAST MESSAGES HERE TO READ OUT: ONE FROM THE GROOM’S FOOTBALL TEAM TO [BRIDE’S NAME]. ‘APOLOGIES THAT WE COULDN’T ALL BE HERE TODAY, GOOD LUCK WITH [GROOM’S NAME]. WE’VE FOUND HIM TO BE USELESS IN MOST POSITIONS, BUT WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST FOR TONIGHT."


“HELLO, I’M [YOUR NAME] AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT [GROOM’S NAME] AND HOW WONDERFUL, HANDSOME AND… SORRY MATE, I CAN’T READ YOUR WRITING.”


“AS PART OF MY RESEARCH, I DISCOVERED THAT ACCORDING TO TRADITION I AM SUPPOSED TO SING THE GROOM’S PRAISES AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT HIS MANY GOOD POINTS. WELL, I’M VERY SORRY BUT I CAN’T SING AND I WON’T LIE.”



“THE GROOM AND I SHARE A COMMON SENSE OF HUMOUR. SO IF THIS SPEECH IS IN ANY WAY FUNNY, FEEL FREE TO BLAME HIM.”


GOOD EVENING, FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I’M VERY HAPPY TO PRESIDE OVER THE ONLY FIVE MINUTES OF THE DAY [BRIDE] DIDN’T PLAN.


FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T KNOW ME, MY NAME IS [BEST MAN] AND FOR THOSE OF THOSE WHO DO KNOW ME…I APOLOGISE. MY FULL NAME IS ACTUALLY ‘[BEST MAN]-WOULD-YOU-LIKE-A-DRINK’. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO I CHAT TO IN THE BAR LATER, I’D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD USE MY FULL NAME.



Dos and don’ts of the best man speech


Keep it clean – your best mate’s grandma probably won’t appreciate you dropping in F-bombs every 30 seconds.

Pause for laughter. Nothing’s worse than an awkward silence!

Avoid in-jokes that most of your guests won’t understand.

Add a personal twist by making it more individual to the groom

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