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Best Man Speech: Tried-and-Tested Best Man Jokes That Will Win Over Any Wedding Crowd

You're going to want to share these hilarious jokes with your best man!

bride and groom laughing at best man speech jokes

Taking on the role of best man is a great honour. But it comes with countless responsibilities. From taking care of the rings, to getting the groom to the ceremony on time, to, of course, delivering a hilarious best wedding speech full of jokes!


Love them or loathe them, a few jokes sprinkled into the best man speech is sure to captivate the room, and help endear them to your moment in the spotlight. But what if you're not naturally funny?


Best Man Jokes to Add to Your Wedding Speech

For those in need of a little best man inspiration, we've compiled some sure-fire jokes that are certain to get your speech writing off to a hilarious start.



“If you can’t hear me at the back, the silence at the front should assure you that you’re not missing out on anything.”


“If there’s anyone here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married [groom’s name].”


“All those among you who know the bride will know that she is a wonderful, caring person. She deserves a good husband. Thank god he married her before she found one.”


best man looking at wedding speech jokes with groom

“Just some last messages here to read out: one from the groom’s football team to [bride’s name]. ‘Apologies that we couldn’t all be here today, good luck with [groom’s name]. We’ve found him to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight."


“Hello, I’m [your name] and I’m here to tell you all about [groom’s name] and how wonderful, handsome and… sorry mate, I can’t read your writing.”


“as part of my research, I discovered that according to tradition, I am supposed to sing the groom’s praises and tell you all about his many good points. Well, I’m very sorry, but I can’t sing, and I won’t lie.”


wedding guests laughing at speech

“The groom and I share a common sense of humour. So if this speech is in any way funny, feel free to blame him.”


"Good evening, family and friends. I’m very happy to preside over the only five minutes of the day [bride] didn’t plan."


"For those of you who don’t know me, my name is [best man] and for those of those who do know me… I apologise. My full name is actually ‘[best man]-would-you-like-a-drink’. For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name."



Dos and Don’ts of the Best Man Speech


Keep it clean

Your best mate’s grandma probably won’t appreciate you dropping in F-bombs every 30 seconds. Even the most forgiving crowd will not like constant swearing, or any direct references to sex. This is, after all, a wedding. Save the blue stuff for your stand-up show.


Pause for laughter

If you've sprinkled your best man speech with a few of our jokes above, you're sure to have raised a few laughs. Work that into your speech, and your practising of it, by pausing for them. Simply carrying on, or talking over the titters will mean your jokes have less impact, and parts of your speech will be missed. Let the jokes soak in, and embrace the moment.


Keep it short

We know you didn't get picked to play Romeo in the school play, but this is no time to deliver an epic monologue. The room will get bored, and you'll soon feel their tension if your speech goes over 3-5 minutes.


Avoid in-jokes

Unless it's obvious, or an in-joke that the whole group knows, avoid telling jokes that involve 'needing to be there'. They won't land, the ones who don't get them will feel out of the loop, and you'll only really entertain a handful of guests. Read the room, and appeal to the crowd, not just your mates.


Deliver your speech to the happy couple

The best man speech is as much about saying thank you to the gathered guests, and entertaining them. As it is about being kind and loving to the happy couple. Be sure to address them constantly during your best man speech, and make sure any jokes are personal to them.

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